maybe i wouldn't be here
by That Pesky Summers Kid
Summary: Soulmate AU. They never asked, never said anything, but Nate knows they had it figured out. After all, it doesn't take a genius like Amadeus Cho to figure out that he and Cassie had been soulmates.
**I found this random prompt about soulmates when I was browsing through Tumblr. I can't remember the exact details but it went something along the lines of "Instead of figuring out they're your soulmate based on first words, it's the last words that confirm it." And I was listening to this really sappy song that reminded me of these guys. So...yeah.**

* * *

They always say that you never know what you have until it's gone. Nate's not exactly sure who the "they" are in this sentence but they sure as hell are right. Actually, he's not even sure what the human race to did to deserve this; must've been pretty big for fate to punish people by making them realize, "oh hey, you're my soulmate," when the other person was in the process of dying.

Nate blinks owlishly, trying to keep the tears at bay. He's Kang now. He can't show the least bit of humanity anymore. His friends aren't even his friends anymore. Everything's a mess without _her_ and everybody hates him and he can never see her again because she's dead. He's destined for a cruel future, one where half the time he spends trying to revive his soulmate and the other time trying to avoid getting murdered by her. He knows this, he's known it for a long time. So, why is the reality so hard to face?

"Are you okay?" asks his companion, a runaway princess of some sort with friends in high places, very high places. He wants so desperately to ask her, ask for this one small favor, but he's so sick of being alone that he'll gladly wait however long it takes. "You look pretty upset," she notes, sliding her fingers down her curly blonde mane. Her eyes remind him of the comic book Billy gave him as a gift for their friendiversary, the one with Iron Fist. But they also remind him of a forest, a titanium green forest that bustles with yellow electricity. He's not sure why but she suddenly reminds him of her and it makes him want to cry.

"I'm fine," he says, albeit a bit harsher than he intends to but it gets the message across. Clearly, though, the girl has no care for his feelings because she completely ignores his warning.

Her mouth opens and words flutter out, but he can't hear a sound. The only thing he notices are the amazingly similar features that the girl—what was her name again? Scarlett? Carly? No, it reminded him of Cassie—shared with her. The same soft blonde hair—but she has black streaks, Cassie's was all blonde—and the same electric eyes. He watches the way her lips move as she speaks, a satisfied smile on her face when she thinks that he's actually paying attention to her. Just like she would. He's been noticing a lot of similarities like these.

"Nate, Nate. _Nate_!" she screams at him. "Are you listening?"

He stares at her blankly. He has no idea what she's talking about, he's been more focused on keeping _her_ memory alive. Trying to honor _her_ even though he knows he's fucked up big time. "Yeah," he says finally. "Yeah, I was listening."

Her electric eyes narrow— _just like her, my god, just like her_ —as if she knows he's lying. She gently pushes the bangs that are falling in her face back and rolls her eyes at him. "Whatever," snaps the girl. Dammit, what is her name? "Anyway, as I was saying, my dad met my mom and he thought it might actually work. A few years later, they divorced and my mom moved on. My dad came out of prison and he met this popstar, I was such a big fan of her. She was practically family." She sighs wistfully.

Nate silently wonders why she uses 'was' instead of 'is'. Is her stepmother dead?

"She made him so happy, you know? But she died in a fire," she whispers softly, taking a deep breath. Nate's sure he can see tears welling in her eyes. "I could've saved her. She was caught in the crossfire. It's all my fault. She had nothing to do with this."

"I know the feeling." Nate has no idea what possesses him to say such a thing but he may as well continue on. She's probably the only one willing to listen. "I lost someone close to me too. I lost a lot of people actually."

"Was she your...?" she questions softly, her eyes shining with sympathy.

Nate closes his eyes. The words, " _Guess I'm finally a hero now, huh,_ " written in Cassie's cursive writing, were probably fading from his arm by now. He'd never told anyone. Never said that she was his. He'd never even told the team, but he was pretty sure they knew. They never asked, never said anything, but Nate knows they had it figured out. After all, it doesn't take a genius like Amadeus Cho to figure out that he and Cassie had been soulmates. Anyone with a brain could've figured it out if they'd seen the way he tore Jonas apart when the android refused to let him take her away so he could bring her back.

"Yeah," he answers, "yeah, she was."

They're quiet for a while, just listening to crickets chirp and watching the stars twinkle in the dark sky. The silence isn't awkward, it's understanding. The look she has in her eyes, it isn't filled with pity but empathy. She knows what it feels like and he's so damn thankful that he doesn't have to be Kang anymore. Even if it's just for a little while, he's glad to be Nate again.

The spell is broken when she speaks up, her eyes mischievously twinkling. "Hey, Nate," she calls, causing his head to snap towards her. "You up for some traveling?" She stands up, dusting any imaginary dust of her denim jeans, and holds out her hand for him.

Nate takes her and shoots her look, silently saying, _what the hell are you trying to do?_ Her smile only widens as she pulls him up.

"We're gonna get ourselves a happy ending!" she declares, giggling at the dumbfounded look on his face. "I know a guy who knows a guy who can change reality. Why not take advantage of it?"

His mind immediately finds a picture of Billy and Teddy, ganging up on Cassie with cake smeared all over their faces. Him and Tommy in the back laughing at them, with Kate smirking and Eli rubbing his forehead, grumbling something about immature teammates. Jonas standing in the corner silently, wondering if he should take part in the tradition. He shakes his head. _No_ , he thinks, _she can't know Billy...can she?_

He looks up to find her staring intently at him. "Sure." He shrugs as if the proposal doesn't make his heart start hammering against his ribcage like crazy because _he has a second chance and now he doesn't have to live with the guilt, thank god_.

She smiles, walking towards the edge of the cliff. "Well, what are you waiting for?" she beckons him forward. Nate can see the faint outline of a portal and remembers what Kang—who is not his future self, _he can't be_ —said about portals. They're everywhere, he just needs to know where.

He steps forward, slowly walking towards the portal. He stops next to the girl and looks at her for instruction. He hasn't done that much time-traveling; he's only done dimension-hopping and the last time he time-traveled was a fluke.

She nods at him, taking his hand squeezing it softly. He squeezes it back on reflex and the two walk together to the portal, with only one thought in mind:

 _I hope this works._


End file.
